


Sieze the Night?

by HotPatootie



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual, Asexual Reader, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Coming Out, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, No Smut, Reader is sex indifferent, Reader-Insert, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, ace - Freeform, acespec, nervous Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28893141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotPatootie/pseuds/HotPatootie
Summary: When you invite Bucky to your apartment for the first time, he's nervous about what you might be expecting.  He doesn't want to disappoint but he's not sure if he's even ready to take that step in your relationship.But you're not expecting anything besides a kiss and a cuddle.-----Sex is openly talked about but there is no smut.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 48





	Sieze the Night?

**Author's Note:**

> High-key tired of the lack of asexual representation around here so I guess I have to do something about it myself. Reader is sex indifferent because I've only seen one asexual reader fic where they're not sex repulsed.
> 
> Hopefully the format of the texting sections doesn't look too weird. It looked a lot better in my google docs.

Hey. I was wondering if you 

wanted to get some dinner 

tonight after you get off 

work? 

Read 12:57pm

  
  


Typing…

  
  


“You going out with that girl again tonight?” Sam knocked on Bucky’s arm with a smirk. “Side note, when do we get to meet her?”

“Maybe, she just saw my text,” Bucky muttered before downing the rest of his water bottle, purposely ignoring Sam’s second question. “God it’s hot…” he huffed, lolling his head against the shaded tree he sat beneath. “Remind me again why we couldn’t just use the treadmills today?” 

“The heat wouldn’t be a problem if we had gotten started on time, Mister Why-Do-We-Have-to-Get-Up-So-Goddamn-Early.”

“Go to hell, Wilson.”

“I’m proud of you for dating again, Buck,” Steve chimed in, clearly more interested in the former half of the conversation than the latter. “I think it’s been good for you.”

“Yeah, yeah, me too…” Bucky brought his attention back to his phone at the mention of you.

  
  


I’ve actually been out a lot

this week because of work

and was looking forward to

chillin at home tonight…

but you could come join

me if you want

  
  


Bucky sat up a little straighter.

It wasn’t much but Steve noticed. “What’s up?”

“She wants me to come to her apartment.”

Steve raised his eyebrows. Sam whistled. “Damn Barnes. Didn’t realize you two were getting that serious. You gonna jump on that?”

“We’re not-- It’s not-- She just wants to ‘chill,’ look,” Bucky defended, holding up his phone to show them. Steve took it and held it between himself and Sam.

“Sam might be right, Buck. And.. I think you should go.”

“Why? ‘Cuz it would be ‘good for me?’” Bucky took his phone back with a scowl on his face.

“Actually, yes,” Steve chided with an infamous furrow of his brows. “When was the last time you were… Intimate, with someone?”

“Intimate nothin’, when’s the last time you got laid, man?” Sam scoffed.

“None of your business, Wilson.” 

“Okayy, then lemme ask you this, do you wanna sleep with this girl or not?” 

“I don’t,  _ not _ want to. I just… I dunno if it’s something I can do anymore. And I don’t want it to be lousy for her.” Getting up from his place on the ground with a grunt, Bucky leaned against the tree once more when his phone chimed.

  
  


If youre not comfortable with

that I totally understand

  
  


“Shit,” he sighed. “I don’t know what I wanna do…”

“You better figure it out Barnes, you can’t keep her waiting for an answer.” Sam stood up with help from Steve. 

“It’s up to you, Buck,” Steve said, gently placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I think you’re ready for this step though. And if you go and you’re still worried about it, just be honest and tell her what you’re feeling. From what you’ve told me about her, she’ll understand.”

Bucky nodded. “You’re right… You’re right, you’re right,” he huffed, finally getting ready to type up his reply.

  
  


That sounds nice I’d love to

Delivered

Read 1:13pm

  
  


“So you’re going?” Sam asked with an expectant look on his face.

“Yeah, looks like it…”

  
  


Oh, great! I can’t offer you

anything fancy, probably

just spaghetti

I love spaghetti

Read 1:14pm

Convenient!

  
  


Despite himself, Bucky couldn’t help but smile. Maybe having sex wouldn’t be so bad if it was with you. But he was still worried. It had been a lifetime since he last slept with someone. He really didn’t want to disappoint you. There’s no way your expectations weren’t high; he was an Avenger after all. On the other hand, he didn’t want to disappoint you by turning you down either.

Seems like a lose-lose situation, he thought…

“Don’t forget to use protection.”

“I’m not a dumbass, Wilson!”

“That’s debatable.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


After knocking on the door to your apartment, Bucky’s palms started to sweat. Well, one at least. He picked up a single rose from a vendor on his way back home from his run with Sam and Steve. Looking at how wilted it was already getting from the heat, Bucky thought he felt a lot like that rose.

He spent more time than he’d like to admit showering and choosing what to wear. He wanted to look good but he didn’t have the largest wardrobe. If one end of the spectrum was casual and the other end formal, he barely had anything that fell in the middle. After getting frustrated with his selection (and refusing to borrow from Steve), he ended up purchasing a black polo to wear with some jeans tonight. 

You once told him that you liked it when he wore his hair in a bun, so he made sure to do that.

His final bit of preparation were the condoms in his back pocket. Well, that and brushing his teeth.

Bucky was brought back to the present when you opened the door.

“Hi, James.” You looked up at him with an exhausted smile on your face. He could still see the fondness in it though, and that made him smile in return. “Oh, that poor thing needs water bad! Lemme see it.” You quickly took the rose from Bucky’s hands and hurried to your kitchen to get it a tall glass of water. Bucky sheepishly followed, closing the door behind him.

“You look nice,” you said, placing the glass with the thirsty rose on the kitchen counter. “I, uh…” You looked down at your band tee and shorts. “I don’t,” you laughed.

“That’s a lie, you always look good,” Bucky retorted, emphasizing it with a kiss on your cheek.

You started to blush, unable to get out a comeback before something caught your eye. “Um,” you giggled. You reached out and plucked a price tag off of Bucky’s new shirt. “I think you missed something.” 

“Oops,” was all he said with a nervous laugh. 

Smiling, you turned around to grab a pot out of the cupboard. “I haven’t started the spaghetti yet. Luckily it doesn’t take too long.”

“Need any help?”

“I mean, it’s just boiling water and heating up sauce. You can fill this pot with water for me if you want.”

“Sure.”

  
  
  
  


Like you said, it didn’t take long to make spaghetti. Didn’t take long to eat, either.

“God, it’s stuffy in here,” you mumbled, taking your now empty plate to the sink. “So I planned on watching a movie tonight, if you’re interested. My bedroom has an AC unit, we could watch in there.”

Bucky swallowed. He didn’t meet your eyes as he deposited his own plate into the sink. “Sounds good.”

“Great!” You chimed, leading the way to said bedroom. Bucky followed sheepishly behind, however you didn’t notice how stiff he was as you busied yourself with turning on the AC and small TV. He was still watching you from the doorway when you seated yourself on the bed and patted the spot next to you. Wordlessly he accepted the invitation.

The movie you chose was familiar to you; you’d seen it multiple times before so it was comfortable and easy to unwind watching it. You asked Bucky if he had seen it before, you weren’t surprised when his answer was “no.” Leaning your head on Bucky’s shoulder, holding his hand in yours, you were perfectly comfortable. And perfectly  _ exhausted.  _ Under the circumstances, no one could have blamed you for dozing off.

Bucky didn’t notice you doze off though. Between the whir of the AC, the volume of the movie, the physical touch and his racing thoughts, he was overwhelmed. Were you expecting him to make a move after the movie? Were you expecting him to make one  _ during?  _ You had taken his hand pretty early on. Was that supposed to mean something? The two of you had held hands before, of course. But that was in  _ public.  _ This was a bedroom. A woman’s bedroom.  _ Your  _ bedroom. Bucky could feel the condoms he was sitting on in his back pocket. What if he couldn’t make it good for you? What if he couldn’t last long? What if he tensed up, leaving you to do all the work? Imagine having sex with an  _ Avenger  _ and it was  _ bad.  _ What if, on top of that, it was your first time? Worse yet, what if he couldn’t get it up in the first place?

He didn’t want to seem like he was blowing you off, either. Or leading you on. That would just be a slap in the face. Bucky liked you a lot. Maybe even loved you. He couldn’t screw this up. But god, everything was so loud right now and he needed it to  _ stop. _

You jolted slightly when you heard your name. You had been right on the cusp of being fully unconscious but you quickly gave Bucky your attention.

“Can we pause this?” he asked, and you obliged. “Can... Can we turn that off for a minute too?” He gestured to the AC.

“Sure,” you said before fumbling around for the remote to the AC unit.

It was only now that he realized he was disturbing your sleep by starting this conversation. He furrowed his brows. Maybe sex wasn’t on your mind tonight after all. But it was on his, and it was clear that he wasn’t going to get any peace until he talked about it.

Once you finally managed to get the AC turned off, you turned to face Bucky on the bed and he spoke. “I need to talk to you, about…” Looking down, he took a deep breath before meeting your eyes again and continuing, “...About sex.”

“Okay,” you said slowly, shifting to a more comfortable position. While this was a conversation you had intended on having, you didn’t expect Bucky to initiate it. But he did, and your words were unprepared, so you let him do the talking.

“I’m…” Bucky sighed. “If I’m being honest, I don’t know if I’m ready for it. Or if I will be ready anytime soon. There’s just a lot about it that… For lack of a better word, scares me. And you don’t deserve to be led on. I don’t want to keep you waiting for something that may or may not happen.”

You fought back a smile. Bucky was laying out his insecurities for you, smiling was not an appropriate response. But this was going to make coming out a lot easier.

“That’s okay,” you almost whispered. You offered your hand and he took it. “That’s totally okay.” You looked at your hand in his. “I… I’m not waiting…” Breathe in. Breathe out. “I’m not waiting around for sex. Because, I am...asexual.” You looked up at his face to gauge his reaction. His expression was hard to read, but it held nothing negative. Perhaps some amount of confusion.

“Asexual.” He repeated. What does that mean? The question formed on his tongue but did not leave his mouth. He wondered if he should know what it means; if he should be embarrassed to ask. Thankfully, he didn’t have to.

“It means I don’t experience sexual attraction. I just don’t feel it, for anyone. So sex generally just isn’t on my mind.” Bucky now held both your hands as he thought. When he didn’t say anything for a while you spoke again, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel romantic attraction. Or aesthetic attraction. You’re aesthetically pleasing to look at, believe me.” He let out a breathy laugh at that. That’s good.

“I’ve never heard of that. Of, ‘asexual’ or...different sorts of attraction besides sexual.” Bucky’s gaze was soft. Shy, even. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing. “It’s… Sorry, I’m trying to wrap my head around it.”

“It’s okay.” You squeezed his hands. “Most people haven’t, unfortunately. That’s why it’s called the invisible orientation.” You shrugged your shoulders slightly, more than used to having to explain your sexuality.

“You… You still like kissing, right? It doesn’t-- I mean I haven’t made you--”

A quick kiss was your answer. “And cuddling. Now that’s something I have been waiting for, a chance for a good cuddle,” you emphasized with an exaggerated sigh, unable to hide the grin on your face.

Feeling relaxed for the first time tonight, Bucky responded in kind. “You shoulda said so sooner,” he grinned, pulling you into his lap and burying his face in your neck. With his arms wrapped around you he gently began to rock from side to side.

You giggled, any tension melted away. “Before you get too comfortable, can I turn the AC back on? You are way too hot.”

“Yeah? Aesthetically, right?” Bucky looked so damn proud with that shit eating grin on his face.

With a laugh you shook your head. “Yes. Not what I meant, but yes.”

Planting a kiss on your head, he released you from his arms. 

  
  


The two of you were able to finish the movie in comfortable silence. You couldn’t help but doze off a couple more times. The man who had his arms around you didn’t help. But you were able to open your eyes in time to see the credits start rolling.

“I’d better get going, doll…” Bucky said softly. 

“Okay,” you yawned. “I’ll walk you to the door.” You stretched your arms before climbing off the bed. Bucky followed as you padded towards the door of your apartment. “Come back soon, okay?” 

“Is tomorrow too soon?”

A tired blush rose to your cheeks. “Hardly soon enough, if you ask me.” You pressed a kiss to Bucky’s lips.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he said as he held you. He hesitated to leave at all.

“Sounds good,” You yawned again.

With one last squeeze, Bucky let go of you and opened the door. “Have a good night, Doll.”

“You too, James.”

“Bucky.”

“Bucky,” you repeated with a smile. Once he started making his way down the hall, you shut the door.

  
  
  


Tonight didn't go at all like Bucky thought it might. How could it have? This was the first time he had ever heard the term ‘asexual.’ At least, as it applies to a person. There was no way he could have predicted the way tonight went. That being said… It went much better than he expected. He was afraid your feelings were going to be unavoidably hurt. Thank god that wasn’t the case.

Asexual… It was going to take a while for him to fully grasp it. But the more he thought about it, the more he felt a bit of an ego boost. Back in the day, word of the skillful lover James Buchanan Barnes got around. A lot of dames would come looking for one night stands. Bucky wasn’t one to turn a girl down, even when the morning after promised to be lonely. Now, to find out that the one who he’s finally going steady with isn’t even thinking about how good a lover he must be? It felt good. It made him feel secure. He could rest easy knowing you weren’t going anywhere in the morning, so to speak.

Bucky’s phone vibrated in his pocket when he was almost halfway home.

  
  
  


Hey Bucky?

  
  


Yeah doll?

Read 11:47pm

I wanted to tell you cuz I

don’t think I made it very

clear… Sex isn’t off the 

table. 

If and when you’re 

ready… If you want to have 

sex I’m here for you.

just say the word and I’ll

get myself some birth 

control

That wouldnt make you 

uncomfortable? 

Read 11:56pm

not with you

Especially since your the 

first one who’s cared enough 

to ask me that

  
  


Bucky smiled, until he realized that that meant none of the people you dated before him had the decency to respect your boundaries. You deserved far better than that. He was determined to be better than that.

  
  


They didn’t deserve you

I mean i dont either

But you get the idea

Read 11:58

If i wasnt so tired id argue

over who doesnt deserve

who

But i cannot keep my e yes

open 

Sleep tight, doll

Delivered

  
  


As Bucky made it to the tower, he realized Sam and Steve were probably expecting to hear about what happened tonight.

Hmm…

Too bad it’s none of their business.

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't specify a movie so you could insert whatever movie comforts you. But if you're curious what movie i pictured when writing this, it's Bladerunner 2049.


End file.
